Anything that gets your blood racing is probably worth doing.
mintiscream asked: What's your career goal after college?


Answer:

50starsand13bars:

Notes
43589
Posted
1 hour ago

wylieeeeee:

wylieeeeee:

I’m holding a charity event tonight for people who can’t reach orgasm.

If you can’t come let me know.

(via little-meatloaf)

Notes
146831
Posted
2 hours ago

3rd grade

friend:*whispering* if you're stupid say "what"
me:what
friend:OH MAN
OH
OH DEAR FUCKING CHRIST
I GOT YOU SO GOOD, THAT WAS AWESOME
SWEET, SWEET DICKS IN MY MOUTH. I HAVE NEVER LAUGHED THIS HARD. EVER.
JESUS. JESUS HELP ME.
Notes
837007
Posted
4 hours ago

carryonwaywardsoldier:

carryonwaywardsoldier:

how to flirt with someone in a museum: introduce yourself and then say i would shake your hand but that sign says not to touch the masterpieces

i told my dad about this post and now everytime he sees me on the computer he asks if im famous on the internet yet so he doesn’t have to pay for college

(via uninspiringlycreative)

Notes
340480
Posted
4 hours ago

and-down-we-go:

My Mom just accidentally prematurely sent an email to an accounting firm… It was supposed to say ‘I am afraid that we will have to postpone our meeting”

but she hit send when all it said was

Hi Jeffrey,
      I am afraid

(via iwillmindfuckyou)

Notes
670677
Posted
4 hours ago
catsandcunts:

look at the guy rolling on the ground
yeah that would be me

catsandcunts:

look at the guy rolling on the ground

yeah that would be me

(via bae-pls)

Notes
59060
Posted
4 hours ago

thefayzian:

somethingwittythiswaycomes:

daree-to-dream:

consultingwriter:

ollivander:

did you know canada has bagged water cause I didn’t and I live here

image

CANADA YOU CAN’T JUST KEEP PUTTING BEVERAGES IN BAGS

Hey, only countries with a government get to criticize us.

do you need some bagged water for that burn

(via katatomickatie)

Notes
169186
Posted
4 hours ago





This guy would survive a horror movie.

This guy would survive a horror movie.

Every single time this comes up on my dash it gets funnier. Like I just fell of of my bed from laughing so hard

He fucking hit him with a lamp. 

I love his freedom pants.


This guy would survive a horror movie.

This guy would survive a horror movie.

Every single time this comes up on my dash it gets funnier. Like I just fell of of my bed from laughing so hard

He fucking hit him with a lamp.

I love his freedom pants.

(via katatomickatie)

Notes
1258843
Posted
4 hours ago

gallifrey-feels:

morgrana:

I ACCIDENTALLY JUST SAID “THIS EPISODE” INSTEAD OF “TODAY”

you just broke your own fourth wall

(via keep-the-change-ya-filthy-animal)

Notes
372591
Posted
4 hours ago
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