whenever people say they dont like cats because they dont happily greet you at the door i give them the stinkiest eye
"why didn’t you do your homework over the holidays?"
This is the best thing I’ve ever seen
When my friend sees a hot guy
EVERY SINGLE EASTER MY MOTHER HIDES A THREE POUND EASTER EGG IN THE HOUSE AND SETS MY BROTHERS AND I OFF TO GO FIND IT AND GUESS WHO GOT IT FOR THE FOURTH CONSECUTIVE YEAR IN A ROW
NOT THOSE LIL BITCHES
those people who insult you and then act like the victim when you say something about it
"WOW OMG I WAS JUST KIDDING JESUS Y CANT U JUST TAKE A JOKE GOD GET OVER IT ITS NOT A BIG DEAL OMFG WOW I DID NOTHING WRONG"
how much can a whale ejaculate????
The average whale usually ejaculates as much as 300 gallons of semen.